A Great Paradox: Joy and Pain

I find the coexistence of joy and pain to be one of life’s great paradoxes. In the midst of sudden illnesses or chronic challenges to our health, joy is one of the most beneficial emotions to experience in the journey towards health and regeneration.

First, what is good health? Is it living life with no aches or pains or sicknesses? We all know this is actually quite rare. If we aren’t fighting a cold or battling migraines, we may need a visit to A and E with a broken finger or find ourselves on a cancer ward or a trauma ward. The list of minor and major health problems continues and we can all fill in the blanks here! When we think about it this way, we may find that life is full of things that affect our health.

A better way to understand good health is described by Dr Chris Kesser as ‘a process, rather than an outcome’ and ‘a moment-by-moment experience of health and well-being.’

This really resonated with me because of my own recent experience when, about a month ago, I had a terrible incident in which I broke many bones as well as punctured my lung.

Most of the time, when I am suffering from a particular health problem, I immediately try to figure out the root cause of the problem and how to fix it. I turn to my 12 years of experience, my ongoing learning and research, and the previous test results I have had done. I find I spend a lot of time working out the best supplements to take and the best lifestyle choices to make. I also spend a lot of time implementing these changes and monitoring the outcomes as I see positive changes.

Perhaps you do the same.

Just before the incident, I listened to an informative talk by Dr Chris Kesser (details below) all about finding joy in pain.

Joy is so important because without joy lifting our spirits and strengthening our bodies, it is far more difficult to fight pain and disease properly and cannot live life to the full.

Interestingly, my darling mother was involved in the same incident and had a carbon copy of my injuries but much worse due to her age. We were fortunate enough to be in beds opposite each other and that bought us great joy among our suffering. We were able to share our experiences, our pain, our tears. We were able to laugh about our inability to go to the loo and pray for each other in our pain. It was a great blessing among adversity.

My naughty brothers came down from Scotland and although I warned them not to make us laugh because of our broken ribs, they couldn’t help it and even though it hurt, it was a great tonic and made us all feel much better and lighter!

Even if you are enjoying good health and there is absolutely nothing wrong with your physical body, a lack of joy can sap all the strength and energy from your body. People who are deeply depressed understand this very well.

WE NEED JOY…especially in the midst of ongoing physical and medical challenges. So, what is joy? Joy is the ability to find peace and patience with ourselves, to allow ourselves to relax and to hope for the future.

Sometimes if we are spending every waking moment worrying about our health or frantically searching to understand the root cause or to find the perfect solution, we may find that we are missing out on joy. Understanding that the healing journey is two steps forward, one step back can help us be more patient with ourselves.

And – another paradox – it is often the case that joy itself brings many health benefits that we miss out on if we focus only on our problems and how to fix them. When we suffer with our health we have a choice. We can choose despair and anger and denial or, as Chris Kesser puts it again, we can choose to live as happy and joyful a life as possible within those circumstances.

How do we keep our joy when we are overcome by dreadful health problem or accident which takes a long time to recover from?

• Be thankful and grateful for all the small things – my husband is still giving me daily injections in my tummy and I have found that if I give thanks while he is doing it, it is far less painful. I also have a toffee afterwards which makes us both smile and gives me something to look forward to!
• Try not to dwell on negative thoughts and energy – as a wellbeing coach, I am trained to help people find the treasures in difficult circumstances.
• Eat healthy, nutritious foods and drink lots of water – eat mindfully being grateful for all the wonderful fresh food we have in this country. Presently I am drinking lots of soup made with fresh chicken broth which is great for healing bones and overall health.
• Protect your sleep times so your body can heal and regenerate – I am still needing to sleep for a couple of hours in the afternoon, as well as go to bed very early. I find I feel so much better when I wake up.
• Practice healthy breathing to reduce stress and other physiological problems – please ask me about HeartMath if would you like to learn some structured breathing exercises. According to the nurses, breathing correctly while I was in hospital stopped the internal bleeding on my lungs and reduced my risk of a lung infection. It also helped me feel more relaxed in a critical situation.
• Keep moving your body to benefit from strength and endorphins (as far as you are able).
• Practice prayer or meditation – I have gained so much strength from being a Christian knowing that I worship a God who answers prayer.
• Don’t take life for granted – be grateful for all the small details every single day. Spend some time thinking about where your ‘happy places’ are in life. One of my ‘happy places’ is being with good friends, another is being in nature and another is cuddling our dog.

Paradoxically, the more we take our minds off our challenging circumstances and allow ourselves to find enjoyment in the midst of it, the more joy and healing is available. As Dr Kesser puts it:

Most white blood cells, for example, in the body have a receptor for endorphins. If you’re familiar with the research on how music, laughter, or pleasure contributes to health and well-being, and immune health in particular, that’s the mechanism. These endorphins stimulate immune function and support our endocrine and nervous systems in ways that we are only scratching the surface of understanding.

How can we have joy in the midst of debilitating circumstances or painful limitations?

• Spend time with family and those you love
• Walk in a beautiful part of nature and make a mental note of 3 things that give you joy/make you smile, for example, the changing colour of the leaves, our dog pouncing unsuccessfully on a field mouse, and the taste of a juicy blackberry.
• Enjoy music or watching a funny film.
• Laugh with the children or animals in your life.
• Deliberately focus your attention away from pain.

Dr Kesser also has lots of information and resources on his website which you can explore here.

For me, as a Nutritional Therapist, there is a vital balance between researching and addressing root causes and symptoms of disease and ill-health on the one hand and accepting the limitations in order to find joy and healing on the other hand.

With every blessing,

Emma

Emma Maitland-Carew – Registered Nutritional Therapist

Dip.ION, mBANT, CHNC Registered Practitioner,

Metabolic Balance® Coach, HeartMath Coach, Accredited Wellbeing Coach.